And there is no school today…… we got some snow overnight but now we have ice. I just told the kids they will have to go out and shovel because I am not allowed to. As you can probably guess they were “extremely happy” about that. I even gave Lexi a part to shovel. They can’t say a whole lot because the part I gave Nicole and Tyler to share is not that much and they have two people to finish the job compared to me doing it alone.
Norm got called in to work so he is busy shoveling snow at the school where he works.
I will have to post pics later of the pretty snow.
Nicole told me the other day that she saw five very fat squirrels sitting in a circle in my yard the other day…… probably having a meeting about the smorgasbord I have out for them. She told me she thought they were unusually fat for squirrels. I told my sister, Deb, that the squirrels are enjoying the very large bag of sunflower seeds she had given my other sister, my mom and I for Christmas. “The squirrels?!” Somehow I don’t think her intent was to feed my squirrels…… wasn’t my intent either……..
Listen to your body!
Don’t let a doctor tell you it’s all in your head!
Due to a ridiculous one inch of snow, our school had a two hour delay. Personally, I think they should have waited because they are expecting heavy snows this afternoon and, if they need to send them home early, it would count. Anyway, it did mean extra time to relax in bed…..until Lexi made her little discovery. “Mom! There’s something wrong with my fish!”
“Oh, no!” I groaned. Followed her downstairs to find the fish floating peacefully on it’s side. “I’m sorry, honey. Your fish died.”
“It died?” I nodded my head. “But why?”
“Well, I guess your fish was sick.”
“It was?……… Are you going to die, too?” That about broke my heart.
She wanted to know what I was going to do with it. I told her we’d flush it. She didn’t like that idea and wanted to know what else we could do. I told her we could throw it in the trash or flush down the toilet because there was no way I was going to get a hole dug. She asked what we did with Tyler’s fish and I told her about their watery gravy so she opted for the toilet. The fact that the carnival won fish lasted six months in a dirty, unfiltered fishbowl and was often forgotten to be fed for days at a time…..well, that in itself is a modern day miracle…. especially when before Norm had spent about $100 on a fancy aquarium and store bought fish that lasted maybe two weeks……I emailed her teacher in case she was down in school just to let her know.
Norm and I went walking today in church in the gym. I asked a lady when we got there how many times around makes a mile.
She answered “sixteen”.
“Yeah, will that be a problem?” We made it 14 times around before I started to feel a little tired and opted to stop so I don’t overdo and prevent my counts from rising.
Today was the day we were supposed to go to the hospital. I think we are over our disappointment and are concentrating on next week.
Tonight we are to get “several inches of snow.” I will believe it when I see it. It’s to change to ice overnight which should make for a mess tomorrow. I’m not wishing for the snow since I am not allowed to shovel and I would have to wait for Norm to have time to get to it and he will be tired doing it for his job.
We had won a gift card to a local outlet so I am hoping my counts will rise till this weekend so we can go down. Lexi needs pants really bad, preferably jeans. My sister had gotten her two pair but I had to throw some out. I had gotten them used to begin with but she wears holes in her pants. She’s my little tomboy. Her and Ty are picky about their jeans….not the type but the enclosures on them. They don’t like buttons…..just snaps. Some stores only sell them with buttons so they can be hard to find. I also hope to get her some black Sunday shoes.
I’ve just been jammin‘ with “Shackles” by Mary Mary. If you ever want to hear a pumped up praise song, listen to that. It always raises my spirits.
This morning we had Norm to his stomach doctor. He has to do another scope down his stomach in March. They said he had a pretty bad bleed. He has to make some dietary modifications…… mostly avoiding greasy stuff and stuff that causes acid like citrus fruits. He’s to stop decaffeinated products…..or at least cut way back on them. They said he did have a large ulcer in his esophagus as well as A.R. They also advised some weight loss. There are also some pain meds he can no longer have due them irritating his esophagus. It’s not drastic changes to which we are grateful. They warned him to stay away from spicy foods which he generally already does.
I, meanwhile, try to get some rest in hopes that my blood counts return to normal.
My sister stopped by yesterday with a used sewing machine. I’ve been wanting one for awhile. this was an extra one she had gotten from a client. Se also gave my wig a haircut as it was completely unmanageable.
I think both Norm and I are feeling a bit down today. It was a disappointment not to be able to get another week of chemo over with. I’ve been trying to take in that disappointment as well as my almost bald head. It wasn’t a shock but it just seems like it’s another reminder of the monster we are fighting. I told Norm that I did not write my story to be this way. I guess God did and He knows what twists and turns my story will take. He knows the ending. I just have to trust him. I guess we were wondering how can we help this or what could we hae done differently but in talking to others who have gone through this before us, it’s a pretty normal side effect of the chemo. I just pray we don’t have this set back with the next one although it’s also a good possibility. We had just hoped to be done till March.
I would like to create awareness for this disease. It is often mistaken for other things. My own family doctors didn’t take my concerns seriously that I had been complaining about for over a year. If they had, we may have found it a lot sooner. They were the first targets of my Ovarian cancer campaign. I don’t hold anything against them except being a little mad that they told me some of the stuff was in my head. I also emailed President Obama. Yep, you read that right. I didn’t vote for him and I don’t seek money from him or wish to be his best friend but I would love it if he would help. What would possess me to even consider it? Because I heard he has personal experience with it. I heard his mother died from Ovarian cancer. See link
. Now I am not naive enough to believe he is going to jump on the band wagon to help me but I felt it does not hurt to ask.
I was thinking today how God worked it so that a cancer group was placed on someone’s mind to be formed shortly before I was diagnosed and now my friend was. It was like God was providing this for us, however there are also others who have cancer or have had it before and maybe there are some who are battling it and haven’t told anyone. I just pray for all of them. Our neighbor down the street is also fighting cancer and her prognosis is not good and yet she keeps offering to help us. I wonder if she gets the support she needs. Norm also has the support from a teacher at his school where he works. All of them support him but she is often his sounding board when he has a question or concern about me. She’s also given us good advice about things. She is still batting from the after affects of her cancer.
I recently also talked to another cancer survivor who has been keeping in touch. She mentioned about the anger part….. being angry for having cancer. I know how she feels. Sometimes I feel that way. i ask, “Why me?” But then it’s like I hear a voice back, “Why not you?” Who am I to feel like I do not deserve to get it? I’m no better than anyone else who got it or may get it. God is just letting me know that He is the author of my story.
Last week we went to Gavin’s viewing. I had forgotten that I had mentioned my cancer on his care page, but I was surprised that they knew exactly who I was and what I had. Maybe the hat gave it away. 😀 This was the church I grew up in but I didn’t know how many knew me or remembered me. Since then I had been getting cards from members of that church in support. Whoever did the display for Gavin did an awesome job. There was even a book there of all the carepages his mother blogged about it. Apparently the hospital gave it to them as a keepsake. There were so many things there I am sure they will cherish for years to come. The thing that brought the tears to my eyes was a photo of him and two other boys. It was titled “The Three Musketeers.” I don’t know if the boys were brothers, cousins or his buddies but it just made me think that they are no longer the three Musketeers and what will happen to the other two now. It was really emotional to look at that photo. The last care page his mother wrote said they are adjusting pretty well and his one brother keeps talking about Gavin being in heaven. How awesome to have that promise of heaven to look forward to!
“In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.” John 14:2-4
My oncology nurse called me this afternoon to tell me that my chemo has been pushed off until February 3. My bloodwork this morning showed that my blood counts are too low…..I am to stay away from sick people and not over exert myself. She said that does not mean I am to lay around all day though because I asked if I could walk up to get my children from school since it’s the only nice day so far. Was a little bummed out. Had hoped to get it over with.
Norm shaved my head for me since I was developing bald spots on my head. Wasn’t thrilled about it but the falling out hair was driving me crazy…..so now I wear wigs and hats.
My hair is starting to fall out. Not that I didn’t expect to but I was hoping that was one side efffect that wouldn’t happen. It drives me crazy so I pick at my hair which drives Norm crazy. He offered to shave it completely off for me. I guess I’m reluctant to let it go……but ti’s only har. I told my sister I will soon be sporitng the Howie Mandell look and, well, he sports it so well, how hard can it be? LOL. I told Norm it just makes the cancer more real.
Nicole is supposed to come home today. Lexi will be so happy to see her big sister….. I just hope they get in before I have to put Lexi to bed. I think Tyler misses her too.
This morning we had to run to the social security office for something and then we stopped at a Christian bookstore so I could get library supplies. I did not realize until I was walking through the store that there was anew Karen Kingsbury book out. I also found some DVD’s I thought they may be able to use for Sunday School classes. I didn’t buy many books as I alread have a lot to go through and get into the library…..may take a couple of days.
Tonight I was experiencing some similar symptoms to when I was first diagnosed so I am freaking out a little. I plan to call the doctor about it tomorrow. He is going to get tired of me but after last week he had better have learned to take my concerns seriously.
We had planned on looking up the social security office tomorrow and stopping by a Christian book store if it is open. I heard rumors it’s not.
We tried going into the city today and ended up turning around due to bad ice. I cannot see why the state cannot take better care of the one main road. We went around the one major hill to get to where Norm needed bloodwork done but even on the straight away we were sliding. I was the one who had wanted to go to begin with and so i told Norm let’s just go home. As it was it took 4 times longer to get back to hometown than it should have.
This afternoon after running back to school for Ty’s glasses, I had my mil’s sister stop by to visit. She was helping me with a project I am doing for MIL’s 70th birthday on the 8th. I hope to finish it this week since next week is out.
Everyone is talking about Barack Obama. Some people who voted against him are worried. I prefer to just sit back and wait to see what he does. maybe he won’t be so bad and I want to give him the benefit of a doubt. It does not hurt to pray for him…..not because he got control of the country and it’s gonna “fall apart” but because is in charge and he will need heavenly wisdom. We don’t know if he is a Christian but he does go to church so I am hoping he will search for God’s wisdom and that is something to pray about. Pretty near every president had made some kind of mistake so I think Mr Obama should get that same chance.
Today I needed to visit my family doctor. My oncologist took me off my blood pressure med and referred me to my family physician for ongoing care. My family doctor decided to let me off for the next six weeks due to my problems with dehydration…..at least until after the chemo is finished.
Yesterday I went to church again and people seemed surprised as to how well I looked. I didn’t tell them that I had a little help from Clarion moisturizing foundation. My skin had been looking really dry and not nice looking so I decided to look for something to add moisture especially since the dehydration issues. It made a world of difference….. that and the new haircut which is growing on me….literally. LOL.
Somebody had on someplace where you are supposed to write 16 things about yourself. I will try for ten……
1. I learn music quicker by ear than by reading.
2. When I was younger I learned Psalm 100 without realizing till later in life. (thanks to Bill Gaither)
3. I get panic attacks when things move too quickly around me.
4. I am great with maps.
5. I used to work as a nursing assistant and enjoyed it for the most part.
6. I was once carried away by a runaway horse.
7. I lost a baby three and a half months after giving birth to Lexi.
8. I once owned an attack dwarf rabbit. Norm as afraid of it and made me give it away before he married me.
9. I origionally injured my rotator cuff several years ago breaking into my parents house. I had been caring for their dog and locked my keys inside.
10. This current haircut had been the first time I have had my hair cut professionally since before I was married.
Lexi took one look at my hair when I got out of the shower, giggled, and told me I look like a Rock Star.
Today Tyler had a basketball game and after that we ran some errands. I blacked out th name of town on their shirts as well as the insignia.
Tyler,in center, holding ball.
Today my kids had off school. We took Nicole in the subfreezing weather to school to leave for her band trip. When I say subfreezing, I mean wind chills well below zero! Then we hurried home for breakfast, working the budget and then off to the dentist for Lexi and Tyler.
The hygentist was funny. He took them both at once. He did Lexi first and then Ty. While doing Tyler he called Lexi over to look. Then he held up the sprayer and proceeded to squirt Tyler in the mouth pulling away as he did so. Tyler almost choked from laughing. Later he did Ty’s treatment and told him that because of the treatment, he didn’t need to go to school for two days. It took Tyler a few seconds to get that he already had a few days off and the hygentist was joking.
Came home and had to get lunch before Norm went to work. Then the nurse came and was here awhile. She said everything looked good except my b/p which was a little low. She told me to call my dr. to check if I need b/p meds. Waiting on return call from that. I showed her the bruising, and she said that is pretty much normal.
The kids were getting along really well till about 2:00 when a fight erupted. Had them on t/o for awhile and told them if they fight more, they will go back.
Norm and I were talking the other day how “While I’m Waiting” seems to constantly come on when we are experiencing low points or stress. It’s sort of became our song.
Somebody had brought a box of Clementines and I have been putting them down like anything. It’s great because it helps with the fluid intake I need but I was wondering if I could get too much Vitamin C…… I am eating a lot of them! Right now they taste better than candy.