For weeks we journeyed faithfully to the hospital for natural birth classes. I would lean back onto my pillow being held securely by the new father-to-be and practice
hyperventilating breathing exercises for when the great day arrived and I find out the true reason we celebrated Labor Day.
h-h-h-h h-h-h-h. Seriously who thought this up? Every time I watched Little House On The Prairie or Bonanza or something the women would be screaming bloody murder until some man got sick of it thirty seconds into it and shove a cartridge into her mouth telling her that she’s just going to have to bite the bullet.
- You will find out your child already has a mind of their own, even in the womb. We went into the doctor around week 37 only to be told, “The baby is breech. You will most likely need a c-section!”
- No matter how long you lay upside down on that ironing board to get the baby to turn, the only thing you will succeed at is looking like a bonafide idiot….. don’t ask me how I know that.
- Do not, I repeat DO NOT allow some guy to come waltzing in announcing he is from med school and he has to perform the epidural and, by the way, this is his first one. I had that happen during child number three. I ended up being put under and my back looking like a giant pin cushion. Did not go well!
- You don’t need all the crap they tell you. For instance, it was recommended I get soothing music to play in the background during labor so I went out and bought the Kenny G CD’s. (If you ask me what a CD is I will reach out of your screen and smack you!) Anyway, during Baby Number 2 we decided to try for a VBAC. Till that cd played through two songs, I wanted to throw the whole thing out the window. Norm kept faithfully changing the cd when it was through and finally I growled, “Will you just turn that off?!!!!” Of course, he turned it off immediately. He saw the video how you don’t argue with women in labor! We ended up with a c-section then as well.
- After you have the baby, you get out and walk as soon as you can no matter how much it hurts. I learned from Baby A to Baby B and I recovered much quicker the second time.
- The first day or two home do not allow visitors especially if you are trying to breastfeed…. especially if you are introverted. The added company adds to the stress of trying to get the baby to latch on and you will not believe how much that major surgery takes from you.
- Don’t let a natural birth mom tell you you had it easier. They have no idea!
- C-sections are not the end of the world! I had three. In ten years you won’t care! All that matters is a healthy baby!