My Dad

images (3)   We did not always get along growing up. That is the way it is between kids and parents sometimes.  Yeah, he has his faults, but, don’t we all?  My dad was always the strong one.  He could fix almost everything. He survived a bad accident.  He was lean, healthy and strong.
Trying to wrap my head around the fact that he probably has cancer has been extremely difficult.  As a cancer survivor I am all too familiar with some of the lingo.  Cancer is scary and the chemo even scarier.  It is not something I would wish on anyone, especially anyone in my family.
Today my mom and I accompanied my dad to a hospital for a probe to see what they could in his kidney.  What they saw was a mass of soft tissue that most certainly did not belong there.  It was weird, if not downright uncomfortable, seeing him on a hospital bed looking so haggard.  Later walking him to the doctor’s office I looked at him and saw a tall, extremely thin man who looked more old and feeble than the person I knew before.  I knew this day would come where we would be the caregivers of our parents but I was honestly not expecting my dad to be the first one.
I feel like the last several years have been so hard with my cancer, my husband’s medical issues, our house being destroyed in a flood, education issues and so on and so forth. I guess I question myself if we could make one more mountain.  I know in my head that God will get us through it but my heart still needs convinced. Right now it seems to be in a state of shock and disbelief.


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