I recently had to deal with family dynamics, or perhaps I should say family dysfunctions. Whatever the word, something happened in my extended family that made me question whether the qualification normal family actually applied or if we were more dysfunctional than I always thought. I have been doing a lot of searching within myself to attempt to answer the nagging question, “Why do I act the way I do?”
To further the plot twist a family member shared a secret that totally blew my mind out of the water and totally dispelled a family belief for as long as I could remember. Between that and another family secret I learned a long time ago I am of the belief that this goes beyond dysfunction…. this is just plain psycho. Well, maybe not to that extent but it has me questioning myself as far as my reactions and beliefs about what I thought was true and what I know is definitely not true. Not everything is the way it seemed and I am sorry to the family members who bore the brunt of something they never should have all because the family did not know the whole story.
This incident also taught me a little about myself and why I reacted as strongly as I did. In order to protect a member being bullied via passive aggressiveness and alienation, I rose up like a lioness protecting her cubs. In retrospect, I realized why. It was because I knew quite well how it felt to be bullied like this. It made me realize how I was also passive aggressive and where that came from. In addition, this is yet another family skeleton I doubt has occurred to any member. Finally, it brought to light how hurtful passive aggressiveness can be. This is something I strive to change within myself.