Before you say "I Do"

The bride was dressed in a bodice featuring shirred tulle overlay and embroidery accented with sequins and beads. There was a lace-up back and a tulle skirt embellished with scattered beads. The groom, dressed in a black Ralph Loren tuxedo, stared dramily into her eyes and she returned his loving gaze. Throughout the entire service they couldn’t take their eyes off each other and their dance to “You Are So Beautiful” personified their future together. It was a dream wedding with a dream honeymoon but what often happens after the honeymoon? Life happens……. and often times even the most “in love couples are not prepared for it because they choose not to think about “For Worse” or “In Sickness”. They get married thinking it will be a bed of roses, often forgetting that even the most beautiful rose has thorns.

I am not discounting love but I implore the one who is considering marriage to really think about what love is.

I want you to imagine that you and your spouse to be are married and living in a beautiful house that is takes both of your paychecks to pay the bills on. You have three children who need to be run to soccer practice and girl scouts and church every Wednesday night. You have a busy life and suddenly your spouse is in a horrific accident or is diagnosed with a horrible disease that requires you to physically take care of. Would you be willing to clean a dirty bed pan or a bucket for the fifth time that day that has vomit in it? Would you be willing to feed them through their feeding tube or administer medication through an IV line? Will you be able to clean drool that seems to be constantly dripping from the mouth of your spouse who has experienced a stroke or a dehibilitating brain injury. Imagine yourself doing this day after day after day and know that you may have to do it five, ten or even forty years.

Imagine your spouse is undergoing depression and no matter how hard you try, you can’t help them out of it. Imagine they cheated on you or lied to you. Imagine they did something behind your back.

Marriage is more than just loving someone. It is a commitment through good times and bad. Most people mistake romantic love for the real love that you need to make a marriage last… where love is a verb that you choose to keep applying even when times are tough. It incorporates committment and lots of grace. Like in the song, “Love is not a fighting but it’s worth fighting for.”

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