I often wonder if I am ever going to be in that place again or if I am through with that nightmare for good. It seems like a really bad dream to me. Sitting here at this point one year out…. a year ago I had been through my first chemo and was losing my hair.
There is a lady at church who also had Ovarian Cancer and the same dr. His prognosis for her was not good while mine was….and he was right about her. Hers has returned. And while I can take small comfort in it not returning, I still wonder what is in store for me. Going through cancer, especially being ignored at first, has made me so paranoid. It took all I had not to severely question the doctor during Nicole’s recent appointment. I know it will take awhile till I can trust them again. There are some things I wish to discuss with a medical professional but I just don’t feel comfortable with anybody. I don’t want to be paranoid but I know I am not alone in this. I have confided in a friend who has had a similar experience and she shares my fears and paranoia. She understands how I feel and it’s nice to know that.
This year started out with a family gathering and my birthday. We took the kids to a movie over my birthday weekend.
Today was really warm. It was also rainy however when I went to pick up Lexi from school there was a beautiful rainbow in the sky. Lexi was so thrilled to be seeing her first rainbow.
As you can see I changed the look of my blog again. I tried color coordinating it to my God is Bigger than my cancer insignia which I’ve made with a ribbon and a cross, both purple. I don’t want it to just be teal for Ovarian cancer or pink for breast cancer…… I want it to be purple to hopefully represent the ultimate Healer of cancer. I hope you enjoy it.