Nervous about tomorrow

We go to see the oncologist tomorrow to see what our next step will be. That is when we will get a rating for the cancer. Really nervous about the whole thing. I told Norm it is so hard to believe that something like that is even lurking inside of me. Aside from how I felt this summer and fall, I just found it hard to believe something like this could grow inside of me and you just don’t know it. I guess in hindsight there were clues, but the doctors thought it was other things. (Like my back hurting this spring….they thought I had mearely reinjured the injury from the fall before…….. and they wrote the tingling in my legs off as something else……All this time it could have been the tumor pressing against my spinal cord……how could we not know that?) You just don’t think about something being wrong with you especially if it does not run in your family. Now it opens up a whole new can of worms. Should my two sisters go and get tested? What about my children?
And I’m not sure how to handle colds now. I’ve always been one for letting them run their course but do I need to be more aggressive with them if there is a chance they could make me really sick? Catherine Baker Knoll was supposed to be doing well with her cancer and then got ill and passed on. I’ve been having something in my throat that I am hoarse and keep losing my voice so I’m not sure how worried I should be about that. I guess these are all questions to ask the doctor tomorrow. Everything just seems so up in the air.
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One thought on “Nervous about tomorrow

  1. I will pray that the news is good tomorrow. It’s really scary how cells can just proliferate without you knowing. Did the doctor say how long the tumor was there? I have constant backaches all the time and I see you being so young and vibrant with kids and its scary to think that anything like this can happen to anyone. *sigh* I don’t blame you for worrying or being nervous. Colds, there really isnt a cure so for right now, you have to let it run its course. But you should try to stay away from others during the cold and flu season. The less infection you give your body right now, the less your immune system has to work. It’s sad to hear about Catherine Knoll. The tough part about testing family members (siblings and kids) is that most organizations don’t do testing unless there is a medical issue that the person is complaining about. It depends on what kind of illness, but most don’t just test because you go in and tell them my sister has this or my mother has that. However, for me, since my mom had breast cancer, I got a mammogram early last year I believe at age 36 or was it two years ago. I can’t quite remember. Anyway, yes, ask the doc about it running in families…I don’t know the answer to that…I will pray for you Denise and I wish you good news…Let me know what the doc says…hugs and prayers…

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