We go to see the oncologist tomorrow to see what our next step will be. That is when we will get a rating for the cancer. Really nervous about the whole thing. I told Norm it is so hard to believe that something like that is even lurking inside of me. Aside from how I felt this summer and fall, I just found it hard to believe something like this could grow inside of me and you just don’t know it. I guess in hindsight there were clues, but the doctors thought it was other things. (Like my back hurting this spring….they thought I had mearely reinjured the injury from the fall before…….. and they wrote the tingling in my legs off as something else……All this time it could have been the tumor pressing against my spinal cord……how could we not know that?) You just don’t think about something being wrong with you especially if it does not run in your family. Now it opens up a whole new can of worms. Should my two sisters go and get tested? What about my children?
And I’m not sure how to handle colds now. I’ve always been one for letting them run their course but do I need to be more aggressive with them if there is a chance they could make me really sick? Catherine Baker Knoll was supposed to be doing well with her cancer and then got ill and passed on. I’ve been having something in my throat that I am hoarse and keep losing my voice so I’m not sure how worried I should be about that. I guess these are all questions to ask the doctor tomorrow. Everything just seems so up in the air.